Rock
Scissors
Fuck
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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