why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
