I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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