The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
