Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
