Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
