After last night, I could never be a politician.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
