So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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