hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
