My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
