The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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