Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
