You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
