If that was your dad, he is hot
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Do vagina's smell?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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