wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
