Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize