What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Found your dick twin last night
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
