Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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