i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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