I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
