he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
