Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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