You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
