dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
