It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
