And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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