I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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