Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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