What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize