doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
