dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
there is another microwave in the elevator.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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