is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
