No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
