i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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