Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
