So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
