Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
