return my video game
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
