I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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