who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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