What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
