Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
