Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
