you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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