talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
