Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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