We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
