her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
