I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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