We're facebook friends in real life
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
