Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
