You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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