So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize